Though I'm sure this is the calm before the storm - I'm moving in with my Turkish roommate later this afternoon - my arrival in Istanbul couldn't have been gentler. The flight was thirteen hours of stiff and sweaty and the guy at customs did scrutinize my passport, my face, my visa, and my "reasons for coming" for much longer than I felt comfortable with, but getting to see my boyfriend's smile in the arrivals hall was more than enough compensation. Everything feels different with a kind-hearted translator. Strangers barking in Turkish, taxis honking incessantly, cats fighting, watery beer, SIM card shenanigans - it still doesn't make sense. But it does feel less bewildering. For that I am grateful.
So who will I be living with? Good question. Before I get to that, here's who didn't make the cut:
1. A super intense, hyper-clean, invasive question-flinging 30 something Turkish dude and his theoretical lady roommate in a mildly sketchy part of town near Taksim. Frankly, this guy was so uptight from the get go that my interest was piqued. (Yes. I am that person.) I like to think of myself as a fairly open sort who can at very least get along with most people. I'm not demanding; I wash dishes; I don't throw raging parties but I also don't mind them. But I've also found myself in some difficult co-habitations that could've been infinitely easier had everyone been honest from the get go. So the fact that this guy was so upfront about house rules and so intent on digging into my personal life was bizarrely refreshing. He told me I would be expected to clean. He told me that house guests were not encouraged. He asked my what kind of work I did and what sort of hours I would be keeping. And when I told him I thought that the house guest issue might be, well... an issue, he told me he could deal with 2-3 days of them but not much more. After all, he said, I was the renter. Not my pals. He then added that he didn't want to see my boo and I hanging out all the time in the kitchen and leaving a bunch of dishes for him to clean up. He also didn't want him spending the night all the time. And he referred to him as my "lover." Can we say: inappropriate, awkward, and controlling? I sort of understand the boyfriend statements. There's nothing more obnoxious than seeing a couple flirt with each other in your own kitchen and then leave their spaghetti to mold. But what I can't accept is that offering my friends a place to rest their weary heads after long hours and expensive plane fare would be uncomfortable. My friends deserve better than a begrudged welcome, and frankly, I ain't payin' for that.
2. An Erasmus flat in a quieter, much less shady area just north of Taksim. This sounded great at first. The guy who owns the apartment not only speaks English but I believe is English and lives there. Talking to him was an uncomplicated pleasure and all that prevented me from PayPal-ing him my deposit was the fact that I hadn't seen any photos of the room I'd actually be occupying. I wasn't so thrilled about the three other roommate situation - one American girl (totally fine, and I'd actually bizarrely met her before) and two non-Turkish guys of unknown origins (also okay). That's a lot of competition for the bathroom, and because I work from home, I thought it might get a little awkward. But I felt like the pros outweighed the cons. And then I saw the photos. My first thought - I'm not in college anymore. I need actual furniture. I don't want to live out of a suitcase, nor do I want to fork over a ton of money to buy and haul my own loot from Ikea. I'm almost 30 and I'm making my life here. Nope. Second thought - why am I moving to Turkey to work for an American company and live with non-Turkish people? The American girl at this place was very cool (and normal and nice) when I met her some two years ago, but is it really a good idea for me to go down that road?
I had a few other possibilities happening but they dropped off one by one. Too flakey. Too expensive. Too questionable an area.
So who and what did I choose?
My gentleman caller once described me (teasingly) as a communist, feminist, and a vegetarian. All of these things are true, of course, and I'm proud to be such. On this side of the world, though, I guess I'm a bit of a rarity. Turns out the stars aligned to put me with my Turkish match. The new roommate is a kindergarten teacher who dabbles in stage acting on the side, is about as left wing as they come in this country, and has declared her own vegetarianism. And best of all - she has a cat! I'll be moving to the Anatolian/Asian side of the city later this afternoon and though I never thought I'd end up here, I have to say I'm looking forward to it. My future home is a five minute walk to the Bosphorus and if it's anything like the parts of Kadıköy I've visited, it'll be a beautifully quiet and relaxed place to write.
Cross your fingers, friends.
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